How to Get That FIRST Phone without the FRUSTRATION
The reasons behind why getting our child that FIRST cell phone is so FRUSTRATING and how to avoid some of the most common challenges.
A couple weeks ago, I started a discussion on kids and phones. I shared a bit about my story with how and when we decided to get our oldest her first phone. In talking to MANY friends on this matter, it turns out that getting your oldest child his or her first phone is one of the more stressful parenting decisions you’ll be making… and don’t be fooled, waiting until they’re 45… (or 16) isn’t a simpler option.
Why is it so hard??
All kids seem to want their first phone LONG before parents are ready. While many of us are happy delaying this decision, our kids are OBSESSING over this fantasized device that will one day be theirs. By OBSESSING, I mean forming all sorts of expectations. While they don’t have a cell phone YET, they know that Susie got a brand new iPhone17 last year. Johnny has unlimited access and has a blast on Tik Tok. “Nobody” has any rules or limitations. blah blah blah…
What we did…
We set an age. We told our kid that the cell phone would happen at 13. This seemed to buy me the time I needed to think about all the details later. While this seems like a SOLID plan, there is a problem in quietly kicking the can down the road. Our kids are forming ALL the expectations…they are picturing the latest and greatest, brand new iPhone, expenses paid, unlimited access to friends, texting and apps at any time, a sense of privacy in having an iPhone to call their own… only to have that expectation completely OBLITERATED with… a cell phone contract unlike anything they’ve ever heard of. It turns out kids don’t just sit around at school discussing the rules and limitations setup by their parents.
Disaster Avoidance…
They say frustration is the result of unmet expectations. If you want to avoid complete disaster, I HIGHLY recommend you communicate any and all details when your child starts showing the slightest interest in having a phone…while you can always change your mind, at least rest some ground work for what they should be expecting when that time comes.
Cell phone FAQ:
-What type of phone will they be getting? (flip phone, smart phone, used phone, new phone, red fish, blue fish, one fish….)
-Will your child have any financial responsibility? (Who will be paying for the cost of phone, cell service, insurance, phone case, replacement phone, replacement charger, etc.)
-Will there be rules for screen time usage? (Think after school, weekends, meal times, car rides, etc.)
-Will your child have times when the phone is handed over to you? (Sleep is KEY for our mental health AND you want to keep in touch with your child’s phone usage. I HIGHLY recommend your child turn in the phone to you each evening for charging and safe keeping.)
Our Family Cell Phone Contract
I came up with a VERY DETAIED cell phone contract that works well for my family and I’ve shared it with friends upon request. It goes into great detail on ALL THE THINGS that were NOT on my radar prior to my oldest getting that first phone.
I hope this helps you and your kiddo in this new chapter of parenting.
~kk
<<Click Here to Download the Cell Phone Contract for FREE>>
Please comment below with any other thoughts on family cell phone management.